Tiger Eye Trend Report: Jeggings verses Jordache – A Snug Affair

Ah Jeggings! Perhaps it’s just me – I think they are one of the world’s greatest inventions, especially if you wear them the right way – which excludes a very well buttered muffin top.  I’ve realized it’s okay to buy a bigger size because the media wants to starve us all. Perhaps they are preparing us for the up-and-coming doomsday soiree where Victoria Beckham will teach us all how to survive on 150 calories a day or less. (Naturally the answer to that question is: David Beckham –hopefully we all get one of him in our Doomsday gift bag).

Until that time comes, Elasticity is your friend. With Jeggings, yes you can be a smaller size. I may have to wiggle and stretch my way around a dressing room but hey – jean breaking squats, in my opinion, are only going to help the cause.

I used to wear vintage Jordache jeans. Now, for those of you who don’t know, and for me who likes to indulge in any hair-flip, dusty-light, 1970’s commercial, a refresher course:

Vintage Jordache jeans are made from Selvedge denim and should be included in any weight loss plan. Why? Because Selvedge denim is raw denim meaning it’s doesn’t unravel or stretch. It stays in the same position – year after year after year. I use a shoehorn and some Crisco each time I wear my Jordache jeans (or I live on the David Beckham diet for about a week – and then use less Crisco and smaller shoehorn). Selvedge denim is made on Shuttle looms, which weave narrower and tighter pieces of fabric thus producing an edge that will not fray. Elastic denim, in contrast, is made on projectile looms; they create a looser and less durable stitch – one of the main reasons you can’t throw your Jeggings in the dryer. Selvedge denim last longer and costs more – but isn’t A plus in comfort (at least in my opinion). I like a jean you can take anywhere – to the movies, on a date, to Thanksgiving dinner. The only real time I recommend wearing a jean like Jordache is if you plan to walk from NYC to Tahiti without sitting down; or if you’re lying in bed with a crowbar and another person assisting you. It takes two (or three) to un-tango those pants so make sure you pick a handsome helper (or two) that way you nail kill two studs with one stone.

Of course, today’s Jordache jeans do have stretch in them – but don’t say anything to your handsome helpers – stick with the vintage and the 2-4-1 plan. 


 

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2 Responses to Tiger Eye Trend Report: Jeggings verses Jordache – A Snug Affair

  1. Summer says:

    Girl, i love you.

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