I’m on a new feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway kick – why? Because from what I’ve read success comes to those who are fearless. After all, fortune favors the bold and I’m not about to lose out on opportunities because of the thoughts that live in my head. Fear, I’m discovering is no more than what you make it to be – and if you want to be anything than its important to identify what you’re afraid of and put it to bed.
Believe it or not, I get afraid to be real on my own blog. That’s because for years I lived outside of myself and was anything but authentic. I’m not alone. Many of us control what we say or do online out of fear on not being hired; liked; or tweeted about. It’s amazing how with each social media platform comes another social media personality. You can appear to be whatever you want – without the fear of people discovering who you really are.
And what’s wrong with being whoever you are? Perhaps one of the greatest fears alive today is the fear of not being good enough. In fact, if you google ” fear of not being good enough” you get 37 million search results. There’s even a name for it: Atelophobia.
“According to the blog post, Basic Fear #2: Not Being Good Enough. ”We tend to judge ourselves against another standard. This standard is often a comparison between what we ‘know’ about ourselves and what we ‘believe’ about the other. In other words, we end up comparing all the negative stuff we think true about ourselves to the positive image others portray to us (and we portray to them). We end up seeing ‘the yuck’ of our own lives, but fail to see it in the other.”
Nowadays everything is a comparison to another. Turn on TV and you will discover that we live in a culture where nothing is good enough. Everything is picked apart, scrutinized, re-picked apart, and complained about. If you make $5, you should be making $10, if you make $10 you’re questioned about why you didn’t make $15. All this does is sink into our subconscious and create a reality where we are constantly reaching beyond arm’s length – and when you’re reach is too far – and failure becomes more eminent than success, this can cause a less-than-satisfactory- feeling about our lives and ourselves. In other words, we give up.
- You always compare yourself to others
- You think everyone is better at XYZ than you are
- You are judgmental of everyone around you because of your own insecurities
- You lack self esteem
- You doubt your writing abilities
- You always try to be perfect–in every situation and circumstance
- You berate yourself for not being perfect
- You’re a perfectionist
I’m not saying don’t reach for the stars – by all means, do so! I’m certainly trying. I’m also realizing that nothing holds me back from my dreams except for myself. What we tell ourselves – the dialoges we create in our heads are the foundations to whether or not we will succeed. Remember the old saying: you are what you eat. Turns out, you are what you think you will be. If you allow your fears to go unchallenged you will be challenged by your fears. If you allow your fears to defeat you. You will be defeated by your fears. Identifying what scares you and moving through the fear will make each fearful encounter less terrifying. Expose yourself to what you are afraid of – literally or figuratively and you may be surprised at how well you do. You are enough in this moment. You have everything you need inside you to succeed.
One way to combat the fear of not being good enough is to engage in the practice of tapping or EFT therapy. Below is a video that demonstrates this technique. I hope you find it helpful:
Happy Labor Day!