A Lady’s Guide To Positive Thinking

So sorry I didn’t write over the weekend. I was busy studying for my third interview with a new corporation who will remain nameless because of how many times I use the word vagina on this blog. Getting a job these days is akin to preparing for the Bar Exam in New York City. You have sitting interviews, working interviews, interviews with former co-workers, blood samples submitted and 3 feral goats left under a fig tree at midnight. You also have background checks, credit score inquiries and an application process that rivals the Inquisition. Man, I miss 2005. At that time all I had to do was sneeze and I had a job.

Indeed when one searches for a position, any position, one must deal with the onslaught of rejection. A lot of rejection, similar to what 21-year-old women experience when breaking into the acting business of Hollywood – only at times you wish you had a casting couch to fall back on (kidding) complete with health insurance and a 401K. Part-time applicants are treated like full-time candidates and full-time candidates are subject to an executive process without executive pay. It’s really a remarkable mess we’ve stepped into. I’m just thankful I don’t have a felony to contend with. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to find a job with that shadow following you around – especially when shadows crop up nowadays at the slightest whiff of poor credit score. Below 750? You’re done kid, go back to building model airplanes in your parent’s garage.

Stakes are high even though there are jobs – good jobs that pay well – in South Dakota. That’s where I’m headed if this Arizona thing doesn’t work out. Why not experience the beauty that is Mount Rushmore and live in towns populated by less than 5 people. Change is good, right? I’ve discovered the way through rejection is a positive attitude. I know, BOO/HISS/BOO – you are your Pollyanna-attitude – why don’t you take a pint of reality and call me when you grow a pair. You know, cynicism is cool when you want to live in a black cave and negativity will certainly get you places – padded places with little light or fresh air. I’m not saying don’t be negative. Just don’t be negative around me – especially when I’m unemployed. I need all the positive thinking I can get.

There have been a lot of  studies that examine the pros and cons of positive and negative thinking. Some studies suggest that without positive thinking, you are living a half-lived life. Others contest that negative thinking keeps you grounded and in the present – rather than having your head in some hippie-dippie haze of happiness. I’ve tried both methods and have found that a positive thinking approach works best for ME. This is partly because I’m empathic and can feel other’s emotions. This makes me particularly susceptible to bad moods and dysfunctional family dinners. If I’m around someone who’s negative, I can’t help but feel uncomfortable. Eventually, if I’m with that person long enough, I start to see the world with glass-half-empty eyes. This point of view goes against my nature as an optimist. Going against my nature starts to feel inauthentic and feeling inauthentic can cause me problems. That’s why its important for me to be surrounded by happy, light-hearded individuals who care about my overall wellbeing. It is also why my career in the fashion industry is over.

Pessimism, like negative thinking, can work for people too. It all depends on you and what direction you’re willing to point your mind. The best part about the both sides of thinking is choice. Right now I’m choosing to think about pastry. It’s so tasty and delicious. I’m choosing to think that I can eat pastry and the sugar overload will not effect on my Insanity workout routine. I’m also choosing to think about this guy, naked:

I know you are all thinking about why I watch that lousy show. I’ll have you know that handsome cuban men with big bananas in-between their legs hearts are an essential way this Lady keeps up with her positive thinking.

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One Response to A Lady’s Guide To Positive Thinking

  1. Useful info. Fortunate me I found your site by chance, and I am shocked why this coincidence didn’t took place in advance! I bookmarked it.

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