Tiger Eye Trend Report: Chichis Galore!

Would you rather rest your head on her chichi’s or his shoulder?

I haven’t done a Tiger Eye Trend report in the longest time – nor did I watch the Emmy’s last night. I’m not letting any kind of programming mess with my Rehab with Dr. Drew. Priorities are priorities. I already have a favorite. A mini-Elivira-Hancockite after my own heart attack. Bangs up, old-man down, homegirl’s boyfriend is giving you Tommy Lee after a 334-day coke binge. He’s 44. She’s 22. Can you see where we’re going here? Down the Sugar-Daddy express only this guy is way too busted to be packing any sort of banking heat.

Erika, a cokealite, crying over her abandonment issues and loneliness on Rehab with Dr. Drew.

When I looked up the Emmy’s to see what kind of fashion TV’s finest were sporting, I was blown away by boobs. Waterfalls upon waterfalls of cascading chichi’s. Personally, I’m not a boob girl. Or a butt girl. I’m a flat-fit-into-a-tiny-size-girl. No boobs, no butt, just strut. That’s because I worked way too long into the fashion industry and have been brainwashed into believing that unobtainable bodies are normal. I’m sure pouring a pint of liquid Drain-O in my ear will curb that problem. I could go for a good brain melt.

The chichiest of all chichis.

I applaud chichi’s and am glad they were spread all over the Emmy’s. Chichi’s mean healthy, happy bodies that eat more than Demi Moore ever has. This is a good thing. I don’t know if pig’s are flying over the Hollywood Hills today – but someone got the memo to eat a sandwich or two. I’m exhausted for the actresses I see with pin-thin frames. I believe that after a certain dealthy-low body fat percentage is obtained, people grow ventriloquist-strings and get pulled along by their publicists. I don’t get out of bed for less than 1500 calories – or 9 inches – a day. Just throwing that in there in case someone special is reading this.

Aside from boobs, sea-foam-mint green is making its comeback for color. Get Don Johnson on the phone and cue me up a little theme song because I’m about to write in bubble letters all over these jams:

Nicole Kidman and her man with a fantastic weave showing that a little sea-foam goes a long way.

You can’t hide your disco with sea-foam…but Hayden tries to blend the best of both decades.

Heidi giving you minty revenge.

For a list of Emmy winners, click here. As you can see I’m no fashion reporter. I just write about what I like – and what I’m in love with is Portia De Rossi’s pant suit. GIRL!

And now some sounds that go with seafoam green:

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