I’m going to say it: Lady Gaga is the closest thing we have to real-working feminist these days. It’s so nice to see someone using his or her celebrity-status for more than just free clothes. Lady Gaga’s Little Monsters spent yesterday declaring their flaws to cyberspace. Women grabbed their tummies and showed off their bodies in a full-fledge body revolution. It’s about goddamn time. I’m all for any revolution which opens the door to making peace with ourselves.
Aren’t you tired of trying? I certainly am. I’m so tired of trying to measure up to unobtainable standards. I’ve been doing it for years. Since 13, I was anorexic and bulimic and it’s been far from a dog and pony show. For starters, I’ve had over 50 dental procedures to correct the damage my bulimia caused. It’s all fun and games until you start loosing your teeth. I lost about 10 of mine. There’s something to be said when you’re sitting in a dentist chair and your mistakes are being yanked out with pliers. Essentially my eating disorder was all about space – and how I took up too much of it being myself.
I’ve always had a mouth and convinced myself that this was no good. What man wants to listen to a girl with an opinion? In my head, not many: my mouth, like my body took up too much space. Space is a major issue for anyone with an eating disorder. You constantly strive to dissolve yours. Take up less; become less. When I wasn’t eating I wasn’t in much of a mood for talking. I wasn’t in much of a mood for anything except balancing calories and getting rid of the ones I barely consumed. The ironic thing about anorexia is that the less physical space you take up, the bigger your psychological black hole becomes. Eating disorders are greedy. They suck life and spit out nothingness. If you wonder why people weigh 75 pounds, have tubes in their arms, are on death’s door and still refuse to eat, that’s the black hole my friends. Nothing is ever good enough until it’s enough. Until you’re dead.
On a more simplistic, non-extreme level, people with eating disorder tendencies have the tendency to distract themselves with themselves. If I could bill all the hours I spent gazing in the mirror with corrective thoughts, I’d be a multi-millionaire. Did you know that 97% of women have at least one negative thought about themselves every day? I’d like to meet the 3% that don’t and share their secrets. This body-beauty-age distraction is black-holing my valuable time. I can’t construct a powerful future if I’m too wrapped up in self-defeating thoughts. I’m stepping on my toes before I even begin to dance. If I freed up the space in my head and stopped criticizing myself, I’d gain a shit-ton of real estate and have the meaningful life that being thin has nothing to do with.
This is Gaga’s message to me. Stop worrying about it. Just be you. If you’re wondering why you’re not good enough. You are. You just have to believe it. Rather than subscribing to celebrity-standards of whatever, stick your neck out and be yourself. It’s in my experience that being well fed leads to a happy head – and a happy head makes for a happy life. Why do you think all these waif-thin women look miserable? They are undernourished in all areas. To nourish ourselves we must feed ourselves and make peace with whatever flaws we perceive. After all beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Behold your own beauty and be amazed. Easier said than done, but thanks Gaga. I’ll certainly give it a good heave-ho.