Ah! Fall dances. The up-tempo rhythms. The really bad photo booths. The pumpkin-ghost decor. As we can see from this picture, I am beside myself with excitement and plans of murder. I never dug dances. I never liked having my picture taken – so combining the two is what is producing the stinky-face look. I was a typical 90’s grunge-worshiping goofball who thought she was WAY too cool to dance on a gymnasium floor –
little did I know that years later, I would have no problem dancing on disco floors in Boston, New York and Miami. As you can from the ill-fitting top to the totally tacky bottom – I was in for a real big embarrassment someday.
That day has arrived, along with my date that I picked up a medieval fair. His name escapes me. I blocked it out along with those white-poet-sleeves that never work on anyone unless they’re first and last name are Prince. I was obsessed with leopard because I was obsessed with PJ Harvey’s video, 50ft Queenie. I bought red and leopard and did nothing else but smoke cigarettes and drink coffee. At 16 when most normal young ladies are bagging older men and getting their school clothes paid for, I was hanging out on street corners, reciting poetry and time-machining my way back to the beatnik era. Apparently I didn’t get the memo that leopard and leaf-print don’t match – or that open toe shoes with tights are a complete hell-to-the-no-fucking-way. Even my dog is peaking around the corner with a WTF look. He’s thinking he should be chewing on that outfit instead of marrowbones and doing us all a favor.
And here is the video that started it all.