Flashback Outfit: Flygirl Edition

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Oh HAAAAAY boos. Seems like I can’t quite get my shit together when it comes to writing this year. Now that I have:

Not 1.

Not 2.

but 3 jobs, finding free time is a bit impetuous. But that’s okay because free time always gets this lady into trouble.

Speaking of trouble, let’s lace up your dance shoes and get ready to do the Running Man. Where you going, girl? In Living Color called and they was wondering if you could do a couple of chest thrusts and step-ball-changes in between skits. Life as a Fly-girl can be rough on the callous. No matter. I’ma still wear my hat sideways.

Apparently I didn’t get the hip-hop memo that it’s not cool for a white girl from New Haven to wear a fake diamond chain around her neck. Not only a fake diamond chain – but a chain in the shape of a money symbol. Now that’s some pre-Ke$ha bullshit.

The T-shirt I’m wearing is a H&M classic. I remember when the store opened in Boston, I was invited to the pre-opening. That’s only because I was running a modeling agency and had loads of pretty girls at my disposal. Let me tell you something: pretty girls will get you into more premieres than puppies. Because old men don’t like to fuck puppies – unless they’re really bat-shit-CRA. Old men like to pretend that they are going to fuck young girls and they will give you all sort of perks in hopes of getting into some panties. Of course, being the protective Mama-Bear that I was, that never happened. But anticipation, like Tim Curry says in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, makes a man shiver. And a shivering man with a shrinking hard-on will give gift-bags and fruit loops to any lady carting around 18 years olds. Trust.

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One Response to Flashback Outfit: Flygirl Edition

  1. Hop Sing says:

    Ok… So I’ve thoroughly stalked your blog… And you are seriously my girl-crush! Little mama, you are SO entertaining and an amazing writer! I hope you get back into blog mode… I want to read more!!!

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